180 best bean puns and bean jokes to make you laugh

Welcome to the ultimate collection of bean humor. These 180 hilarious bean puns and jokes will have you laughing out loud. From coffee beans to green beans, this list covers every type of legume humor. 

Get ready for clever wordplay, silly gags, and groan-worthy puns. These family-friendly jokes are perfect for sharing with friends or brightening your day. Prepare to be full of beans with this bean-tastic comedy collection!

The best bean puns and bean jokes

• What do you call a lazy bean? A slow cooker.
• Where do beans go on holiday? The Carib-bean.
• What do you call a retired vegetable? A has-bean.
• What kind of show do green bean plants record? Pod casts.
• What type of bean is the fastest? The runner bean.
• Why are beans good at keeping secrets? Because they don’t want to spill the beans.
• What kind of vegetable can tie your shoelaces? String beans.
• What did one pea say to the other pea? “How are you bean?”
• Why did the bean sell his car? The back seat didn’t have enough legume.
• Did you hear about the bean who looked just like his dad? Like lava, like son.
• What’s a bean’s favourite musical instrument? The beanjo.
• Why shouldn’t you tell a secret in a vegetable garden? Because the beans talk.
• What do you call a cat that likes to eat broad beans? Puss ‘n’ Toots.
• How do soy beans greet their friends? “I’m so happy to see you!”
• What do you call a bean with a great personality? A charm-ing legume.
• Why did the bean go to school? To become a smarty-plant.
• What’s a bean’s favorite dance move? The lima-bo.
• Why did the bean break up with the pea? It needed more space to grow.
• What do you call a bean detective? Sherlock Beans.
• Why was the bean always invited to parties? It knew how to string things together.
• What’s a bean’s favorite subject? Pod-litics.
• How do beans stay in shape? They do jumping-jacks.
• What do you call a bean that tells jokes? A comedy-bean.
• Why did the bean join the band? It had a great rhythm in its pod.
• What’s a bean’s favorite game? Hide and speak.

Funny bean jokes

• Why did the bean get promoted? Because it was outstanding in its field.
• How did the bean ask the other bean for help climbing the garden cane? “Can you give me a legume up?”
• What movie do beans love the most? Pirates of the Carib-bean.
• How did the coffee bean feel about its performance? It thought it had brewed up quite a show.
• What do you call a group of trendy beans? Cool beans.
• What do you get when you mix onions and beans? Tear gas.
• What’s a werewolf’s favourite bean to eat? Human beans.
• Why should you invest in the bean market? Because the stalks can only go up.
• What vegetable comes from outer space? Green beings.
• What kind of beans don’t grow in a garden? Jelly beans.
• Why was the bean always so cool? It was just chilli.
• What vegetable is always jealous? A green bean.
• Knock, knock. Who’s there? Bean. Bean who? It’s been a while since I saw you!
• What do you call a magical bean? A charm-string bean.
• Why did the bean go to therapy? It had too many issues to process.
• What’s a bean’s favorite sport? Pole vaulting.
• Why don’t beans ever win races? They always get canned at the finish line.
• What do you call a bean superhero? Captain A-lima-ca.
• Why did the bean fail the test? I couldn’t concentrate.
• What’s a bean’s favorite TV show? Breaking Bean.
• How do beans communicate? Through the grape-vine… wait, wrong vegetable!
• Why was the bean embarrassed? It split its pants.
• What do you call a bean lawyer? A legal-ume.
• Why did the bean go to the doctor? It was feeling run down.
• What’s a bean’s favorite holiday? Valen-tines… with lima beans!

More jokes about beans

• What did the bean say at the end of its performance? “You’ve been a great audience!”
• How do baked beans learn from their mistakes? They use Heinz sight.
• Why couldn’t the baked bean answer the doorbell? It was in the can.
• Why did the bean blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
• What did the coffee bean say when it won a singing competition? “I really espresso-ed myself.”
• What do you get when you cross a cow with a coffee bean? De-calf.
• What happens to coffee beans when they have a similar experience? They get deja-brew.
• Why can’t you trust a taco? It tends to spill the beans.
• Why were the two bean plants so close? They had deep roots.
• What vegetable can tie your stomach in knots? String beans.
• What did the bean say to the gardener? “Stop picking on me!”
• How are coffee beans like teenagers? They both keep getting grounded.
• Did you hear about the bean that changed careers? She went into a different field.
• A garbanzo bean was looking ill. Its friend asked “Are you OK?” It replied “No, I falafel.”
• Why did the bean start a business? It wanted to make some pod-cash.
• What’s a bean’s favorite type of music? Hip-hop… because they’re always popping!
• Why did the bean go to the gym? To work on its pod-y.
• What do you call a bean that’s always late? A procrastinator bean.
• Why did Bean become a teacher? It wanted to plant seeds of knowledge.
• What’s a bean’s favorite movie genre? Action-packed thrillers.
• How do beans travel? By pod-transport.
• Why was the bean so popular? It was the life of the pod-ty.
• What do you call a bean philosopher? A deep-thinker legume.
• Why did the bean write a book? It had a great story to tell.
• What’s a bean’s favorite weather? When it’s a little chilly outside.

Even more silly beans gags

• Why did Bean become a comedian? It wanted to crack people up.
• What do you call a bean that’s good at math? A calcu-later bean.
• Why did the bean join social media? To get more followers in its field.
• What’s a bean’s favorite exercise? Jumping bean jacks.
• Why did the bean become a photographer? It loved capturing snap-peas.
• What do you call a bean that loves drama? A soap-opera legume.
• Why did the bean start meditating? To find inner peas.
• What’s a bean’s favorite game show? Wheel of Fortune Beans.
• Why did the bean become a pilot? It wanted to reach new heights in its pod.
• What do you call a bean artist? Vincent van Bean.
• Why did the bean go to the beach? To catch some rays and soak up the sun.
• What’s a bean’s favorite social event? A pod-luck dinner.
• Why did Bean become a musician? It had a natural rhythm in its genes.
• What do you call a bean that’s always worried? An anxi-ous legume.
• Why did the bean start a podcast? It had pod-tential.
• What’s a bean’s favorite card game? Poker… because of the high stakes!
• Why did the bean become a life coach? It wanted to help others grow.
• What do you call a bean that loves to read? A bookworm-bean.
• Why did the bean join the circus? It was great at balancing on the vine.
• What’s a bean’s favorite dessert? Vanilla bean ice cream.
• Why did Bean become a journalist? It loved getting to the root of stories.
• What do you call a bean that’s always happy? Jolly green bean.
• Why did the bean start yoga? For better flexi-bean-ility.
• What’s a bean’s favorite type of joke? Corny ones!
• Why did the bean become a motivational speaker? It believed everyone could achieve their dreams.

Jelly bean puns

• What do you get when you cross jelly babies with jelly beans? Beanie babies.
• Why did the jelly bean turn green? It felt like a little jelly.
• What do you get when you cross a jelly bean and a cake? Sweet treats.
• I’ve been told green beans are good for you. But why are they better than the other jelly bean colours?
• What’s a jelly bean’s favorite sport? Bouncing ball.
• Why did the jelly bean go to school? To become a little sweeter.
• What do you call a jelly bean that tells lies? A jelly fibber.
• Why was the jelly bean so colorful? It had a vibrant personality.
• What’s a jelly bean’s favorite season? Spring, when everything is jelly fresh.
• Why did the jelly bean refuse to share? It was being shelf-ish.
• What do you call a jelly bean party? A sweet celebration.
• Why did the jelly bean go to the dentist? Too much sugar coating.
• What’s jelly bean’s favorite music? Anything with a sweet beat.
• Why was the jelly bean always smiling? Life was sugar-coated.
• What do you call a fancy jelly bean? A gourmet legume.
• Why did the jelly bean become a teacher? To sweeten young minds.
• What’s a jelly bean’s favorite movie? Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.
• Why did the jelly bean blush? Someone called it sweet.
• What do you call a jelly bean detective? Candy Inspector.
• Why was the jelly bean popular at parties? It was always the center of sweet attention.
• What’s a jelly bean’s favorite hobby? Candy crafting.
• Why did the jelly bean go to the gym? To stay in sweet shape.
• What do you call a jelly bean that sings? A candy crooner.
• Why was the jelly bean so confident? It knew it was one in a million flavors.
• What’s a jelly bean’s motto? Stay sweet and colorful!

Funny bean puns

• I was productive today.
• Bean and gone.
• I’ve got a bean to pick with you.
• Don’t spill the beans.
• Bean there, done that.
• Bean up your act.
• Beans to an end.
• The bean-ing of life.
• To bean or not to bean, that is the question.
• Peachy bean.
• We’re meant to begin.
• I’ve been thinking of you.
• Brandle of joy.
• Bean and not heard.
• That’s un-bean-ievable.
• I bean-ieve in you.
• Bean out of shape.
• Bean around the block.
• Bean counter at work.
• Living the bean dream.
• Bean times are here again.
• Full of beans and ready to go.
• Bean over backwards.
• Bean me up, Scotty!
• It’s been a pleasure.

More puns about beans

• Bag it and bean it.
• Bean around the gills.
• In the meantime.
• Bean one, bean them all.
• Squeaky bean.
• Bean as mustard.
• Don’t make a bean.
• I’m full of beans.
• Bachelor pod.
• A pod of gold.
• Against all pods.
• You’ve been brilliant.
• Bean to the punch.
• Bean of contention.
• The bean’s knees.
• Bean out of luck.
• Cut from the same bean.
• Every bean has its day.
• Bean business as usual.
• The whole kit and cabeandle.
• Bean in the right place at the right time.
• A bean in your bonnet.
• Bean broke.
• Bean over heels.
• The cream of the bean crop.

Coffee bean puns for Instagram

• Work, roast and play.
• Roast of the town.
• Lost and ground.
• Love is where you grind it.
• Common grind.
• Delusions of grinder.
• Random acts of grindness.
• Bear in the grind.
• Cruel to grind.
• In the grind scheme of things.
• Grind your own business.
• Daily grind goals.
• Rise and grind.
• Grind over matter.
• Never grind down.
• Roast wanted.
• Making a roast out of life.
• Roast assured.
• Brew can do it.
• Brew-tiful morning.
• Dreams do come brew.
• Brew it yourself.
• Espresso yourself.
• Thanks for a latte.
• Better latte than never.

One last bean pun

• Do you think these bean jokes are funny? We’ve been practicing all day!
• That’s all, folks – we’re bean-ding it here!
• Hope these jokes didn’t mean too much for you!
• You’ve officially been entertained!
• We’ve been waiting to share these with you!
• Thanks for bean-ing such a great audience!
• We’ve been saving the best for last!
• This has been an amazing journey!
• Where have you been all my life?
• You’ve been warned – these puns are addictive!
• We’ve been having such a great time!
• This collection has been years in the making!
• You’ve been such a good sport!
• We’ve been laughing non-stop!
• Life’s too short not to be happy!
• You’ve been absolutely wonderful!
• We’ve been looking forward to this!
• Thanks for bean-ing here with us!
• This has been unforgettable!
• You’ve been the best part of our day!
• We’ve been honored to share these!
• Hope you’ve been enjoying yourself!
• This has been pure comedy gold!
• You’ve been more than kind!
• We’ve been truly blessed with these puns!

Frequently Asked Questions

What makes bean puns so funny? 

Bean puns are funny because they use clever wordplay with “bean” and “been,” creating unexpected twists on common phrases and situations.

Are bean jokes appropriate for kids? 

Yes, bean jokes are completely family-friendly and perfect for children of all ages to enjoy and share.

What’s the most popular bean joke? 

“Where do beans go on holiday? The Carib-bean” is one of the most loved and widely shared bean jokes.

Can I use these bean puns on social media? 

Absolutely! These bean puns are perfect for Instagram captions, Facebook posts, and sharing with friends online.

Why are coffee bean puns so popular? 

Coffee bean puns are popular because they combine people’s love for coffee with clever wordplay on “grind,” “roast,” and “brew.”

Conclusion

We hope this massive collection of 180 bean puns and jokes has brought plenty of laughter to your day! From clever coffee bean wordplay to silly jelly bean humor, these jokes prove that beans are more than just a nutritious food—they’re comedy gold. 

Whether you’re sharing them with friends, posting on social media, or just need a quick pick-me-up, these bean puns are sure to bring smiles all around. Remember, laughter is the best medicine, and bean jokes are the perfect prescription for a bad day.